new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize