get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
