I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
