Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize