just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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