Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
