Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You ruined the universe
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
