We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize