I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
