I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
