just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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