As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
