you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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