It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
