Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
