so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
