sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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