Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
