This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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