Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
A bitchslap is in order.
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