I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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