i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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