can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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