thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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