Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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