I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
