I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
