Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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