hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
