I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
