all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
