Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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