Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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