i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
