I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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