UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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