i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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