omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
