this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
