There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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