Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
