Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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