I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
