I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
