He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize