Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
