he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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