I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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