omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up under a house in Key West
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