You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
