weddingsv make me drug and hornr
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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