I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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