No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
