I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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