Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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