theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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