3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize