I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
