remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
