His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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